6 Ways to Develop Self-Compassion so You Can Create the Life You Love!

Self-compassion can help you to create the life you love
Create the life you love is perfectly within your reach! By truly embracing yourself, you’re able to embrace life with excitement and gratitude. Do you need more self-compassion? How can you increase positivity in all areas of your life?

There are 6 actions you can apply to your life that will increase your feelings of self-love and self-worth:

  • #1: Clear Out All Areas of Doubt. We will look at the various areas in your life where you may harbor doubts. With this knowledge, you can begin the process of letting go of these doubts.
  • #2: Avoid Overthinking. We will discuss the various ways in which our minds speed so far ahead of us. You can now let go of regret, of the nagging voice in the back of your head, and of fear of social situations.
  • #3: Explore Your Community. We will look at the importance of building a solid community. The best place to start is exactly where you’re. You can now go out into your community and engage with others on a new and authentic level.
  • #4: Practice Mindfulness. Declutter your mind by getting centered in the present moment. I’ll provide you with techniques for coming back to the present moment and having compassion for yourself there.
  • #5: Let Go of What Holds You Back. In order to move forward, you must let go fully of the things that no longer help you grow. Let go of your anger, fear, and the people who keep you from your fullest potential.
  • #6: Hold On to What Moves You Forward. Get clear with your values and use them to set goals. Explore your spirituality and connect yourself to your existence. Finally, do what you have always been meant to do. Embrace your greatness.

You’re beyond enough. You’re completely worthy of acceptance and inner peace. We will discuss these concepts in depth throughout these posts and you’ll have a stronger understanding of how to fully love yourself and live your best life.

Clear Out All Areas of Doubt

What are your favorite things about your life? Think for a moment about what you’re grateful for. It’s possible to feel that gratitude in each moment of the day. Imagine how it might feel to dive into life and pursue your true potential!

6 Ways to Develop Self-Compassion so You Can Create the Life You Love! 1

What do your days look like? What kind of people are in your life? What is your profession? What hobbies do you make time for?

You have the opportunity at any moment to take hold of your life in order to create the structure that works for you. This book is going to give you the tools that can help you begin to make changes in your life. You can develop your life however you want.

By practising new skills and applying new concepts, you will find yourself coming out of your shell in new ways. You will love yourself in a way that makes you feel confident, worthy, and grateful. Learning about and applying self-compassion can revolutionize your lifestyle and help you live your very best life.

Doubt – Kick It To The Curb

Carrying around negativity and doubt adds a ton of weight to your shoulders. You’re allowed to let go and move on from any doubt you have in your life. It’s okay to be unsure and confused. That’s a natural part of life.

Now you have the opportunity to begin awareness of where you have doubts.You can practice self-awareness by doing daily introspection. How do you feel when you think about work? How do you feel when you think about the relationships in your life? How do you feel about how you spend your time?

Considering these questions and paying attention to how you feel can assist in the objective observation of your daily life and inner dialogue. Your life has many components, and doubt can fester in all of them. The time has come to acknowledge those doubts and take action to be free of them.

Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is the first thing you want to let go of. If you’re constantly doubting what you say or do, the time has come to make a change. If you lack confidence in any environment, it’s time to transform your thinking.

Your spirit and energy can be totally drained by self-doubt. Sometimes it’s difficult to realize that you’re doubting yourself, especially if self-doubt has become such a natural part of your inner dialogue that you don’t notice it.

Let’s start by identifying how you doubt yourself, and how that doubt manifests in your life.

6 Ways to Develop Self-Compassion so You Can Create the Life You Love! 2

Ask yourself this:

  • How often do you sacrifice your needs for what others want?
  • Do you frequently apologize for things you don’t need to apologize for?
  • Are you a people pleaser?
  • Do you stop yourself from speaking up for yourself?

Considering these questions can help reveal any self-doubt you hold that you might not notice.

When you sacrifice your needs for others, you’re putting yourself second and neglecting your own importance. When you apologize for what you don’t need to, you’re shaming yourself and discrediting yourself unnecessarily. You don’t need to apologize for passing someone in the hallway or for asking a question.

If you find that you want everyone to like you, you might be a people pleaser. Do you go out of your way to win people over? Do you say things that contradict your values in order to gain the approval of others? This is a good demonstration of self-doubt.

You’re allowed to stand tall. You’re allowed to speak your truth and be heard. The first step is to raise your self-awareness. Start noticing how much you value yourself compared to those around you. How does your self-doubt manifest in your behavior?

Critical Self-Talk

Self-doubt can be caused by the words you say to yourself on a daily basis. The way you see yourself and the world around you is affected by your self-talk.

When you’re walking into a nerve-wracking situation, are you calming yourself in a self-compassionate way? Or are you speaking poorly to yourself about who you are and how the future will turn out?

Telling yourself that you’re not enough will weigh heavily on you. Critical self-talk decreases motivation and increases unproductivity in all areas of your life.

If you don’t begin to change your thinking, it will be difficult to see the many possibilities in your life.If you continue to berate yourself for the way you walk, talk, or breathe, you will only dig yourself further into a hole of negativity.

So, begin by observing your behavior and actions throughout the day. Hear your self-talk and determine whether it’s positive and self-compassionate.

Negative self-talk goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt because they fuel each other. When you doubt yourself, you’re not seeing yourself as worthy. When you don’t believe you’re worthy, you will feel self-doubt.

Doubting Relationships

Think about your community as a whole. Take an aerial view of it and see all of the connections in your life. Think about your barista at the coffee shop, your colleagues at work, your best friends, and any significant other you either have or will have in your life. Do you need more authentic connections in your life?

Self-compassion can lead to better relationships with others.

Begin pursuing the relationships that will add meaning and purpose to your life.

Look at the connections you have with those around you. Do you feel motivated by the people close to you? Do you feel motivated by the people you work with? What’s most important is the quality of your relationships.

Are there relationships in your life that aren’t serving you well? Begin by getting curious about what is wrong with them. However they make you feel, you’re probably right. There are lots of things you can do to improve the quality of the relationships in your life. It’s okay to crave connection. Humans are wired for that.

It’s okay to question your relationships. It’s something you may need to do on a regular basis. You can either choose to let those relationships go with compassion, or you can decide to commit a conscious effort to make those relationships more beneficial to you.

How to Improve Personal Relationships:

  • Remain patient and compassionate. If you have a tendency to react strongly, instead, push the pause button to get back to a place of calm and compassion. Express your caring feelings by having an open mind and listening ears.
  • Actively listen. When you’re having a conversation with someone close to you, be sure to give them the floor. Instead of thinking about what you want to say next, pay attention to what the person in front of you is saying. Show them that you’re listening by having open body language and validating their truth.
  • Structure regular times during which you give attention to your relationships. You can go out and do an activity, make a phone call, or go get a quick coffee. The important thing is to stay in touch and reach out consistently.
  • Learn from the people closest to you. Just as those in your community can learn from you, you can learn from those in your community. Whether you’re discussing your life story or learning about their line of work, there is always something to gain from those around you.
  • Spend time around those who are positive and motivate you. If you’re feeling exhausted by the relationships in your life, see what you can do to liven them up. You can also put yourself out there and meet others who will bring you to new heights.

When you’re full of doubt, you’re probably in a pretty foggy state of mind. It isn’t easy to see clearly when your reality is tinted with insecurity and lack of confidence. This is how many people live their whole lives. You don’t have to live this way!

Your feelings of doubt likely come from your previous years of mistakes, shame, and confusion. It’s possible to reverse this thinking in a way that will free you from insecurity and help you focus on what is really in front of you in this moment.

Start by working on your thoughts. Do you find yourself overthinking when you’re in social situations, or after you send a text message to a love-interest? It can be difficult to slow down thoughts when they feel like they’re going a million miles per minute.

Here are some solutions for what to do when you cannot stop overthinking things.

Avoid Overthinking

Do you ever try to write your thoughts, but they’re coming too quickly for you to write them down? Do you have that feeling of overwhelming thoughts frequently? How much time do you spend ruminating on the past?

Imagine a day where you take each moment as it comes and don’t think about past moments. Imagine going to sleep at night without replaying all the wrong things you said that day. This freedom is totally possible by practicing a few new things and applying some principles to your daily life.

We all have a little nagging voice in the back of our head that can tend to narrate negative things regularly. That little nagging voice might convince you that you can tell exactly what others are thinking of you. When you believe these things, you’re only creating more destruction in your own life.

Instead of replaying each conversation you’ve ever had, focus your attention on the present moment. When we remember the past, we typically see more negative than positive.

6 Ways to Develop Self-Compassion so You Can Create the Life You Love! 3

Letting Go of The Past

What conversations or behaviors do you think about when you’re replaying negativity in your head? Are there people you actively avoid because you’re afraid of what they think of you?

Now is the moment where you can let yourself let go of all of those things and move forward.You no longer need to ruminate over the past. Are there memories that make you sad, angry, or fearful for the future? You can let these things go by releasing your regrets and turning them into a tool for positive growth.

How to Let Go of Regret

Follow these strategies:

  1. Get curious about what, exactly, you regret. Do you regret old relationships, decisions, behaviors, or words? The regrets that cause you the most distress are important to dissolve.
  2. Write about your biggest regrets. Get them apart from you so that you can look at them. Get specific about what you regret. Consider your lifestyle, behavior toward others, or decisions. Do this nonjudgmentally.
  3. Look at these regrets and think about what lessons you can learn from them. Maybe you can apply one of these situations to your values. You don’t need to use regrets to try to be perfect. Instead, you can look at them as opportunities to learn something new about yourself in a positive way.
  4. Practice self-forgiveness. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself and grow forward. Imagine the shackles of your past dissolving. You will naturally struggle from time to time, and that’s okay.
  5. Decide how to move forward. Though you cannot control every aspect of life, you can control the decisions you make based on your present moment. You don’t need to hide away in shame or continue to doubt yourself. Instead, rise up and embrace each moment with a stronger of compassion for yourself.

Let your compassion for others grow. Regret helps us feel compassion for others because we can put ourselves in their shoes when sharing difficulties, even if we are on different paths. So, when you’re stuck in feelings of regret, you can instantly relate to all who have felt what you feel.

You grow through both your struggles and successes. You can use these moments of regret to re-energize your efforts to live your fullest life and love yourself completely.

That Little Nagging Voice

Have you noticed any constant chatter in your head that can put a negative tint on your day? What do you do during times of frustration with yourself? You have the power to confront this voice in the back of your head that tells you that you’re not enough. You can insist on the opposite, and you’re right.

Start by simply hearing what you say to yourself each day, through each interaction and situation.

Think about how your motivation relates to the way you’re speaking to yourself each day.When you’re in a good mood, how do you talk to yourself?When you’re in a bad mood and having a terrible day, observe how the way you speak to yourself changes or stays the same.

You can adjust the way you talk to yourself by replacing the negative thoughts you think with positive thoughts. It can be as simple as that. Simply come up with a thought that will oppose your critical self-talk.

For example, if you say, “I’m just going to keep disappointing people,” you can replace that thought with, “I am growing each day.

This type of resetting the way you treat yourself will have a hugely positive long-term effect. You will notice your thoughts becoming more positive. Pay attention to how your mood changes as a result.

Social Anxiety

Do you overthink every social interaction you have? How do you feel when you’re approaching a large group of people? Some people thrive more when they are surrounded by people. Others need some quiet time to recharge. Think about how you feel when you’re in large groups.

6 Ways to Develop Self-Compassion so You Can Create the Life You Love! 4

It’s common for our thoughts to speed up in social situations because we’re paying attention to so many different things. The larger the crowd, the more there is to pay attention to. This can be overwhelming.

Luckily, there are simple things you can do to help ease any social anxiety you feel, regardless of the situation.

These strategies will help minimize social fear:

  1. Get curious about your fear. Is there something specific that you’re afraid will happen? Consider the feelings you feel when you think about an upcoming social situation. What emotions arise when you’re walking through a crowd or having a one-on-one coffee with someone?
  2. Walk yourself through that fear by getting rational. You cannot predict the future. Bring yourself to the present moment and acknowledge that you can choose to assume this will be a good experience, or you can choose to assume it will be a negative experience.
  3. Be compassionate with yourself. All moments are good times to unconditionally love yourself.
  4. Ask a friend to go with you to social situations that make you nervous. You and your friend will have a stronger bond, you will do something fun together, and you will have a chance to embrace socializing with a new energy.

When you can move past this fear, you can expand your horizons even further. Continue to grow your self-compassion by moving through fear and getting curious about it, rather than shying away from anything that might be out of your comfort zone.

When you truly believe that you’re worthy, you will find many of your common irrational fears drift away. As these fears dissipate, you will find yourself feeling more open and willing to have new experiences and adventures.

Getting Over Overthinking

Once you move past your negative thinking, you can begin to explore new arenas of your life. In order to best make these changes, free yourself from your negative self-talk and regret. Acknowledge the people around you and begin to open yourself up to new experiences.

When you have let go of self-doubt and begun to build your relationship with yourself, you will find that you don’t ruminate negatively on your day, your past, or your future.

Next, your readiness to embrace the world around will give you new opportunities to thrive.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is simply awareness of the present moment.

It’s common to think frequently about the past and the future. You replay your day, remember childhood disappointment, and grapple with loss. You try to predict the future, assume the worst, expect perfection, or get disappointed before the next thing has even happened.

How often do you stop thinking about the past or the future, and instead consciously focus your attention on the here and now?

Mindfulness means you’re giving your full mind to the present moment.There are many ways to practice mindfulness, and we will go over many of them here.

Mindfulness will have a powerful effect on your mind and your life. You will find that you have stronger emotion regulation, feel more at peace throughout the day, and enjoy yourself more than ever before.

Your self-compassion practice will be drastically improved when you begin to put mindfulness in your routine. Practicing mindfulness is helpful with self-compassion because it helps center you in reality and feel calm and accepting of everything around you, including yourself.

Living your fullest life means taking each moment as comes. You can appreciate every moment and look for each lesson.

6 Ways to Develop Self-Compassion so You Can Create the Life You Love! 5

Mindfulness

Mindfulness nonjudgmentally invites you the present moment.When you can sit in the present moment and have compassion and open-mindedness, you will be able to connect to yourself on a truly self-compassionate level.

When you’re truly mindful, you will find a new peace of mind that brings about calm throughout your life and your heart.

Mindfulness is simply turning your attention toward the present moment. You can do this by implementing some practices to help you bring your mind to a present state.

It’s a good idea to make time each day to practice mindfulness. You can begin by working on doing your typical routines in a more mindful way.

For example, you can mindfully brush your teeth by taking your time instead of rushing through.

Begin by getting your toothbrush wet and putting toothpaste on it. Notice your tube of toothpaste and the color of your toothbrush. You can do all of this without judging any of it as “good” or “bad.” Begin brushing your teeth. Pay attention to the bristles on the brush. Notice the taste of the toothpaste and feel your teeth getting cleaner.

Pay attention to any tension you’re holding. Relax your shoulders and jaw. Loosen your grip on your toothbrush a little bit.

If you begin your day like this each morning, you’ll begin to notice a change. This is an excellent way to start your day and a great way to implement mindfulness.

You can find many ways to practice mindfulness. There are many avenues toward compassion and awareness of the present moment. Try many activities to find ways that work for you to practice mindfulness.

Consider these simple mindfulness activities:

  1. Body Scan. You can release tension and come back to the center of the present moment by checking your body for tightness. Do this by sitting comfortably or laying on your back. Begin at your toes and work your way up your body, relaxing each of your muscles as you go.
  2. Pay attention to your five senses. Name things you hear, see, feel, taste, or smell. By doing this, you’re remaining observant of where you are right now, and you’re connecting yourself to this moment.
  3. Practice mindfulness meditation. You can simply sit and pay attention to your breathing. You don’t have to breathe in a particular way. Simply notice your breath. Avoid judging intruding thoughts. Acknowledge them and then return your attention to your breathing.
  1. Mindfully eat your favorite food. Sit with your plate in front of you. Look at all of the food and smell the delicious smells. When you take a bite, pay close attention to the taste and texture of each food.
  2. Color in a coloring book. Coloring is an excellent mindfulness skill. It’s fun and it’s a great way to get your energy out without acting on it in a negative way. Pay attention to the colors and all of the shapes you’re coloring. You can set a timer for 15 minutes of coloring and see how relaxed you feel at the end.

With all mindfulness activities, your thoughts will likely drift. If they do, simply come back to the moment. You never need to judge yourself for getting lost in thought again.

When you’re truly mindful, you have no judgments on anything. You’re able to simply sit in the moment and tolerate what you’re going through. Mindfulness brings more enjoyment to each moment.

When you can truly appreciate this, you will find compassion blossoming. Having compassion in the present moment connects mindfulness to self-compassion. Self-compassion and mindfulness work together to create a full love for self and life.

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

When you’re able to truly be in the moment, you will have easy access to a deep well of self-compassion and compassion for everyone. When you’re sitting in the present moment, pay attention to having compassion for the moment. Take that compassion and turn it inward.

Self-compassion comes from the moment, when you’re able to truly give yourself the love and appreciation you need. When you’re practicing self-compassion, you’re embracing each part of you in every moment.

When you’re mindful in the moment, take your attention to yourself.If judgments or regrets come up, simply respond with deep self-compassion. What would you say to your very best friend?

If you’re suffering, how do you speak to yourself? If you made a mistake or lost an opportunity, how would you speak to yourself? In times when you’re being critical of yourself, you can use mindfulness skills to increase your self-compassion and be better able to tolerate the present moment.

One effective way to arrive back at self-compassion is by taking a self-compassion break.

To begin, take a few deep breaths. Relax your shoulders and ease the tension in your jaw. Give yourself a hug and comfort yourself. Give yourself all of the kindness that you would give to your closest friend. Allow yourself to feel loved and grounded in the present moment.

Constantly Compassionate

When you’ve found self-compassion for yourself, you can begin to spread that compassion to all beings. Imagine your compassion growing and growing. By starting small with mindfulness, you will see all of the ways you can implement it in your life. Over time, you can continue to advance your practice and find even more appreciation for the present moment.

As your self-compassion grows, so will your compassion for all beings.Imagine your compassion growing and growing, until it encompasses the earth with love. You can feel that peace and calm by having a regular and consistent mindfulness practice.

Giving yourself compassionate attention can transform your life.

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About the Author

Bo Johnson

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